In My Father's Shadow Read online

  “Ally,” Alec pleaded. “You said you’d show me where my first class is.”

  “I got your back, cuz,” Jamie said, bumping Alec’s shoulder. “She tries to play like she’s all tough and stuff but you know she wants to hang out with other girls and gossip about boys.”

  Cole chuckled and Ally sent him a glare. “Laugh it up but those so called girls I gossip with are the ones you three want to date.” She grinned wickedly and leaned closer. “I can tell them things.” She wiggled her fingers at them and marched out of the cafeteria, her long ponytail swinging behind her.

  “She’s evil,” RJ said, watching her. “I pity the guy who tries to tame her.”

  ***

  Ally slumped in her chair, listening to her History teacher drone on about classroom rules and what was expected of her that semester. It was the same old spiel every year and in every class. Picking up her pencil, she doodled idly on her new notebook, drawing little hearts and stars in the corners as her mind drifted.

  Something was definitely off with Cole – she’d sensed it when she’d met up with him again Friday night at the bonfire. That carefree, easy friendship that had existed between the two of them since birth had been strained – almost forced. She was quite certain she knew the cause but she wasn’t ready to fess up just yet. She wanted to explore it a little more, see if it had any merit. And especially see if it was something she wanted to pursue. As much as she loved Jamie and RJ and cherished their friendship, Cole had always been the closest to her – even though Jamie was her cousin. As a matter of fact, Cole was the first person she’d called when she’d received her acceptance letter into the elite softball camp she’d attended most of the summer. And she was the one he’d called through their younger years as his father battled his mother to gain custody of him.

  She sighed, blowing air at the minute strands of hair hanging in her eyes and glanced at the dry erase board behind her teacher. They were only on rule number seven. The class was going to take forever. She wanted school to end so she could hunt down Cole in the music room and feel him out – see if he was sensing the change, too. She wanted to look into his muddy brown eyes and see that familiar affectionate look he always flashed her when she was around him. She just wanted everything to be like it used to be before that….event early that summer.

  A shimmer of excitement shimmied up her spine but she pushed it away. She couldn’t get all ga-ga over it- Cole was her best friend. She just needed to handle it like an adult and not like some little lovesick school girl. Cole’s friendship was far too important for that.

  ***

  The music room was quiet and dark when Ally entered and it took her a few minutes to locate him near the drum kit in the corner, drum sticks poking out of his back pocket. He was handsome, she had to admit, with his shaggy dark hair, his tall, hard frame, and his big brown eyes. Quite a few of her classmates had expressed an interest in him and had even asked Ally to intercede on their behalf. She hadn’t though, claiming that his love life was his own problem and she wasn’t stepping into that mess.

  He brushed his fingers lightly over the cymbals and she smiled, knowing he was probably taking a trip down memory lane – thinking of all the lessons his father had patiently given him. The only thing he loved more than playing the drums was his father and nothing had made Cole happier than when Nate Crawford had finally been awarded sole custody of his son. The entire custody battle had been ugly and Ally still shuddered when she recalled the pain in Cole’s voice when he’d call her, trying his best not to cry.

  She watched him now, smiling proudly at how he’d turned out, even after spending much of his childhood with his bitter, drug abusing mother. It hadn’t taken him long to open up and become the easy-going, smiling person he was now once he’d moved in permanently with his father and Ally hoped she’d never see the sullen, unhappy Cole again.

  “Thought I’d find you here,” Ally said softly, ripping Cole from his thoughts. “Are you okay?”

  He nodded and smiled as he tapped the snare drum. “Just wonderful. What’s up?”

  She shrugged and sat on the piano bench, her eyes on him as he continued to inspect the drum set. She ran her fingers softly over the keys. “Where’s everyone else?”

  “RJ went to hunt Ren down,” he said as he spun around and slid on the bench next to her. “Don’t you have volleyball practice?”

  “Doesn’t start until next week,” she murmured. “Have anyone in mind to take Steve’s place?”

  Cole sighed and she could practically see the wheels turning in his mind, flipping through the files on the people he knew at school that’d be talented enough to take the vacant spot in his band. “No. RJ wants to put a notice up in the Student Center. I imagine we’ll get all kinds of freaks if we do that.”

  “Parker Milten plays,” she suggested. “At least that’s what I heard.”

  Cole smirked, a teasing glint in his eye. “You got the hots for him, don’t you?”

  Gasping, she punched him lightly on the arm. “I do not!” A slight twinge touched her cheeks and she ducked her head to hide it. Sure, at one time she’d harbored a secret crush on Parker – he was adorable in her opinion – but that crush had fizzled out before she’d ever made up her mind whether she’d wanted to act on it or not. Now, she thought as she peeked at Cole through her eyelashes, his cute face and charming personality paled in comparison to Cole.

  “Whatever, you liar,” Cole said, laughing. He grabbed her hand as she swung to punch him again and pulled her closer. A tiny smirk toyed with the edge of his lips and his breath brushed across her check. She shivered in response. “Have him give me a call.”

  She nodded, staring into his laughing brown eyes. “Cole?”

  “What?” he asked softly.

  She didn’t know if she was mentally ready to have this discussion but since her mouth jumped out ahead of her brain again, she figured she didn’t have much of a choice. And she was never one to back down from a challenge. “Why are we not friends all of a sudden?”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” he asked, a spark of irritation flashing in his eyes. “We’re still friends.”

  She yanked her wrist out of his grip and placed her hand on his thigh. “You didn’t call me all summer while I was at camp and you’ve been sort of…tense…around me since school started.”

  He raised a brow and wagged a finger at her. “You didn’t call me either.”

  She looked away from him and studied a poster of Mozart hanging on the wall near the door. “Was it because we…you know. Was it because of that?”

  He grabbed her chin, forcing her wide eyes to meet his. “We kissed, Ally. It’s okay to say it. And it was just one kiss -it’s not like it meant anything.”

  Pain shot through her heart as she pulled out of his grip. She stood quickly and stepped away from the piano, eager to put some space between them. “You’re right. It didn’t mean a thing.”

  “Al,” he groaned as he got to his feet and cautiously approached. “I didn’t mean it like that.” He made an attempt to take her hand but she snatched it out of reach and folded her arms across her chest.

  “I know what you meant, Cole,” she said through gritted teeth. “And I’m sorry I brought up the whole mess. I’ll get out of your way so you can practice.”

  “No, not until you hear me out,” he said firmly. He yanked her arms loose and closed his hand over hers. His eyes softened as his voice took on an edge of desperation. “Al, I only meant that just because we kissed, it didn’t mean we had to jump into some kind of relationship -neither one of us wants that. And besides, we’re best friends. I don’t want us to let that one kiss ruin our friendship.”

  She wasn’t the type to cry so she grew irritated when she felt tears building behind her eyes. She sucked in a breath, hoping to chase them away. She didn’t want them to fall in front of Cole and betray the nonchalant mask she was working hard to keep in place.

  “Yeah, okay,” she said,
avoiding his eyes as her heart crumbled in her chest. She wasn’t sure what her reaction meant and wished she could stop the hurt. Cole was right – they didn’t need to jump into a relationship. She didn’t want to ruin their friendship, either.

  “Al? We’re on the same page here, right?” he asked. Sighing, she nodded so he loosened the hold he had on her hand and gave it an affectionate squeeze. “Why don’t you stick around and listen to us play?”

  “Sure,” she told him with a weak smile. “I’m curious to see if you still suck.”

  With a laugh, he released her hand so he could stroke her cheek instead. “Al, you don’t want us to be in some kind of romantic relationship, do you?”

  She swallowed and placed her hand over his, removing it from her cheek. “No, I don’t. But I do want my friend back.”

  He grunted a laugh and kissed her forehead softly. “I’m here and I promise to stop being a jerk, okay?”

  She rolled her eyes as her heart lightened a fraction of a bit. “Good luck with that.” She pulled out of his embrace and returned to the piano bench. She tapped out a childish melody before smiling at him over her shoulder. “Come on. Play something with me while you wait for the others.”

  He sat down next to her and the two of them plucked away until RJ came storming through the door, his younger brother Ren in his wake.

  “Heart and Soul? Are you serious? Really? You guys are killing me,” RJ exclaimed.

  Cole shrugged. “It’s the only thing the princess here knows how to play.”

  She smacked Cole’s shoulder. “Stop calling me that and I do know how to play other stuff.” She got up to hug RJ’s younger carbon copy. “How are you, Ren? I haven’t seen you since last June.”

  “Good, thanks. Did you have fun at softball camp?” he asked.

  “Yes,” she said. “It was fine.”

  “Fantastic,” he said as he gave her one last hug before pulling his guitar out of his case.

  She settled on the piano bench as Cole tuned the drum kit and RJ tuned his guitar. They’d started playing together last year and were actually very good. Richie Shaw, RJ and Ren’s dad, had told them he could talk to his producer and see if he’d record them - but the guys had declined. They wanted to do it on their own, without any help from their dads. Only now they were short a guy since their bass player, Steve Runyin, had graduated and left for college.

  Ren decided to try his hand at bass for that particular rehearsal session and they warmed up with a few cover songs they’d learned and perfected. Ally could immediately see the improvement they’d made over the summer and she could picture Cole drawing up demanding rehearsal schedules and ordering everyone to practice every night before bed. He was so much like her own father that she sometimes wondered if her parents received the right baby – even if she was a little over a year younger than Cole.

  They finished the first song and RJ tried to cajole her into stepping up to the mic to sing a few verses but she shook her head emphatically.

  “I have to agree with the princess,” Cole said as he shot her a wink. “No one wants to hear that.”

  “Whatever,” she said, ignoring his jib. She jumped off the bench and giggled as RJ’s eyes widened in horror, thinking she was actually going to take him up on his offer. She grinned and merely moved to the floor, not the microphone, and folded her legs under her body, leaning against the wall. “Just getting more comfortable. Please, continue.”

  They resumed with another cover song and she drew her knees to her chest, tapping her foot with the beat. She was saddened knowing that, even though they were good, they’d always be in Tight Control’s shadow. Her father’s band had held together for over two decades and people of all ages still listened to them. As a matter of fact, they were due to start touring again in a couple of weeks. She didn’t like it much when they went on tour because her mother often joined them and weekends at home were lonely and quiet.

  But it would be a long, hard road for Cole, RJ, Ren, and whoever us joined the band. No matter how talented they were or how hard they worked or how much success they earned, they’d always been known as Tight Control’s younger generation. That would hang over their heads, probably, for their entire lives. And Ally didn’t think it was fair at all.

  Her eyes fell on Cole and her pulse quickened. They were playing one of their original songs with Cole belting out the lyrics while pounding out the beat on the drums. She rested her chin on her knees as she watched every familiar muscle twitch and facial expression. She knew him so well, knew almost everything about him, and that was why she had to fight those rising feelings in her chest. She didn’t want to lose him as a friend – didn’t think she could handle it.

  That night, as she snuggled under her blankets and listened to Jeana, her roommate, snore softly, she couldn’t stop thinking about her conversation with Cole and the feelings that wouldn’t leave her.

  Not a day had gone by since that early June afternoon that she hadn’t thought of ‘the incident’, as she liked to call it. She remembered with perfect clarity every little detail – how they’d been relaxing by the pool one minute and locked in an embrace the next. She remembered the guilt washing over Cole’s face and the tension that hovered between them when he drove her home. She remembered lying in bed, just as she was now, reliving the entire ‘incident’ and trying desperately to analyze every touch, every word.

  “I can’t do this to myself,” she mumbled under her breath as she twisted in the blankets, trying to find a comfortable position that was more conducive to sleeping.

  He doesn’t want to ruin our friendship, she reminded herself as she closed her eyes. And I don’t want to, either. She was determined to get over her silly little crush and have things return to normal. Her feelings were just the product of a long summer away from him and her reaction to the subtle, mature changes that had come about in her absence. Once she settled into a regular routine both at school and with all three of the boys, her crazy feelings would stop and he’d just be Cole, her best friend, again.

  At least, that’s what she told herself.

  Chapter Three

  A week later, Cole exited his second hour classroom a little later than usual and entered the student traffic rushing from class to class, building to building. A tiny smirk erupted on his lips as he spotted a familiar dark ponytail bobbing and weaving behind a familiar head. He quickened his pace until he caught up with her.

  “Hey, Al,” he said as he dropped a casual arm around her shoulders. “Thanks for having Parker call me. He’s played with us a few times and I think he’ll work out.”

  “Glad I could help,” she said, blinding him with her smile. His heart twitched and he wondered briefly what that was all about until he pushed it aside, giving her shoulders a squeeze.

  “We’re practicing tonight in the music room in case you want to drop by,” he invited.

  “Can’t, volleyball practice,” she said, a note of regret in her voice. She patted his stomach as she continued to smile up at him. “Sorry but you’ll have to find someone else to constructively critique your music.”

  “Ha!” he snorted. “You call ‘you guys really sucked that one up’ constructive criticism?”

  “Just being honest,” she said, mischievous glint in her pretty blue eyes. “What kind of friend would I be if I lied?”

  She was flirting – he was almost sure. She’d always had a sense of humor and could handle a joking session with the guys but this went beyond that. She was flirting.

  Before he could speak – respond to her subtle flirting, a hand hooked the crook of his arm, nearly sending him and Ally sprawling to the sidewalk.

  “Cole, can you help me with something?” Jennifer Mansfeld said, appearing out of nowhere and batting her eyelashes as if she expected to take flight. “Oh, hi Ally. How are you?”

  “Fine,” Ally answered, her light mood gone in an instant. Ally had tried befriending Jennifer the previous year when Cole and Jennifer had briefly dat
ed. It hadn’t worked out well and Ally was only too relieved to be able to tell Cole how fake she found Jennifer and how happy she was that Cole had dumped her.

  Cole gave Ally a conspiratorial wink before turning his attention back to Jennifer. “What do you need, Jen?”

  Jennifer flashed her brilliant, even teeth and gave Cole’s arm a squeeze. “That report we’re supposed to do for Literature - did you finish it yet?”

  “Yeah, it wasn’t that hard,” Cole said, his brow furrowed. Jennifer had never made a secret out of how much she loved Literature and could often be found snuggled in a bean bag chair in the library, some old tome opened in her lap. “Have you even started because it’s due Wednesday?”

  She clutched his arm, nearly sinking her blood red nails into his flesh. “I haven’t started it yet – I’ve been so busy I haven’t even had time to read the chapters.”

  Cole suppressed a grin when his ears picked up Ally’s low snort. He gave her shoulder a squeeze. “I have a little time right now,” Cole offered. “But that’s about it - unless you find me at lunch.”

  “Oh thank you so much, Cole,” Jennifer cooed, both hands now wrapped around his bicep. “You don’t know how much it means to me. Can we run to the library now?”

  “Yeah, sure,” Cole said as he turned his eyes on Ally, regretful smile on his face.

  Ally rolled her eyes and huffed. “I’ll see you later, Cole. I’m going be late.” She ducked out from underneath his arm and dashed away, doing her best to get lost among the sea of students. He watched her until she turned a corner before he allowed Jennifer to drag him to the library.

  ***

  Sunday night, Cole sprawled on the top of a picnic table outside of the Student Center and lit up a cigarette, smirking as Ally, who was seated on the bench of his table, her back brushing against his arm, faked a cough. She hated smoking.