All The Wrong Reasons Read online

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  The Sunday morning sun refused to wake, making the day start out gray and gloomy. But Lucas’s fever had finally broken during the night and the congestion in his chest was clearing. He claimed he felt more human as he sat at the kitchen table while Collin whipped up a batch of pancakes.

  He looked better, too, and the relief in my heart radiated on my face.

  He convinced me to spend the day with him, going so far as to locate my books and notes to quiz me for my finals. Of course, he constantly reminded me of the promise I’d made the night before. Once I was certain he was well enough – and when Collin left to meet up with friends – I made good on that promise. Naturally, the sponge bath ended with me gasping in his bed.

  He insisted on ordering dinner and forced me to eat with him before I returned to school. He sat very close to me, chattering excitedly about the upcoming holidays. He was like a little boy when he spoke of spending time with his family. He and Collin intended on driving to Chicago on Christmas Eve to spend the night at his parents’ house.

  I envied him. Not that Christmas with my mother and Tommy was bad – on the contrary, it was usually wonderful. I just dreaded spending Christmas Eve with my grandparents. And I wasn’t exactly looking forward to seeing Dustin.

  After dinner, I helped Lucas clean up and made sure he took his cold medicine. I gathered my things which had somehow become strewn all around the apartment. Lucas didn’t help – he did everything he could to prolong my stay.

  “Luke,” I whined. “I have to go.”

  He gathered me in his arms with a smile, making his eyes crinkle. “Come stay with me while you’re on break.”

  My heart danced for joy but my brain chastised it. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to,” I said. His smile fell along with my heart. “But I’ll try.”

  He kissed me long and hard that I nearly shoved him back to his bedroom. But I remained strong. “Try. If you can’t, I’ll understand. This weekend has been amazing.”

  “But you were sick,” I pointed out unnecessarily.

  “Yeah, but you were here. And I got a sponge bath.”

  I blushed all the way to my toes and he just kissed me again. “I have to go,” I whispered.

  “I know.”

  “See you Friday.”

  “I hope.”

  Sighing, I fell into his arms. I didn’t want to leave. He held me and rubbed my back. When he finally released me, he walked me to my car, kissed me, and shoved me into the seat. “Drive safe, love.”

  I smiled at him as I started the engine. When I pulled away, a thought smacked me in the face.

  I was very much in love with Lucas.

  Chapter 13

  I breezed through my finals with smug satisfaction and when the girls joined me in the dorm room Thursday afternoon, I begged them to take me Christmas shopping to celebrate. Agreeing, we grabbed our bags and happily piled in Bailey’s car.

  I’d already purchased gifts for my family and even ordered an expensive law encyclopedia that Dustin wanted using the allowance my grandfather had given me. But I had a stash of cash that I’d earned babysitting and working at my mom’s pub. That was the money I had in my wallet – the money I would use to buy Lucas’s gift.

  Bailey found a great music store downtown and I browsed through everything, wanting to find the perfect gift. When I reached a rack of t-shirts, I nearly lost my breath. They were lovely – vintage, long-sleeved band t-shirts – the kind Lucas loved. I found two that I liked the best - ones I thought would bring out his eyes - and draped them over my arm. I chewed on my lip as I considered the rack, choosing two more – one for Collin and one for Spencer.

  Once I made my purchases, I blushed as I thought about what I really wanted to get for Lucas. I sheepishly told Bailey and her eyes lit up brighter than the Christmas lights in every shop window as she herded me and Morgan to the car. She drove for about fifteen minutes, leaving the downtown area. She parked in front of a seedy building with an adult novelty sign in the window. I giggled as Morgan’s cheeks turned such a deep shade of red. Bailey gleefully led us inside and my face turned the same color as Morgan’s.

  “Here,” Bailey said, dragging me by the hand to a display of lingerie. “Ta da!”

  I rolled my eyes but immediately began shifting through the lace and silk. Most of it was sort of trashy, leaving little to the imagination. I was sure Lucas would appreciate it but I wanted something to knock him out of his boots.

  “Oh, this one is pretty,” Morgan cooed. She held up a hanger and I had to agree. It was perfect. Made of a satiny material, it was longer than the others and looked like it would cling to my body but not show everything off. And it was black. I imagined walking into Lucas’s bedroom wearing it and the hungry smile on his face.

  “Yes, this is it,” I said as I grabbed it. “This is just what I want.”

  We strolled around the store as Bailey wanted to check everything out. I stopped before a shelf of assorted condoms, giggling as I grabbed a box of multi-colored ones and hid it under the nightie.

  Bailey laughed when I set my things on the counter but I refused to blush. I paid for my things and hurried to the car. Bailey exited a few minutes later with a small bag and a big smirk. I wondered what she had in store for Spencer. But I definitely did not want to ask.

  When we got back to the dorm, I wrapped my gifts, shoving them into the bag I’d packed to take home. I did not want my mother to see them and question me.

  I’d promised my mother that I would return home on Saturday morning as I wanted to spend Friday night with my friends since they would be going home and I wouldn’t see them for a couple of weeks. She understood, naturally. Of course we planned on going to Rusty’s to see Out Back and I would spend the night at Lucas’s.

  He’d called me Wednesday, sounding much better. I couldn’t wait to see for myself -especially after my realization that I loved him. I still had no clue what I was going to do but I did know that I wanted to be with him more than ever.

  Dustin, too, had called and droned on about all the wonderful activities we could do over the break. He whined that we hadn’t spent nearly enough time together and a twinge of guilt flared in my chest. I promised him we’d get together Saturday and ended the phone call before I lapsed in a mound of tears.

  Christmas fell on a Monday but I hadn’t yet figured out what excuse I would use to get out of the house to see Lucas. Bailey lived up north, close to the Michigan state line and Morgan lived about an hour away so I didn’t think I could use either of them. I’d have to come up with something.

  Rusty’s wasn’t nearly as crowded as usual when we arrived so we were able to take our regular table – the boys had reserved it for us anyway. We ordered drinks and my body trembled in anticipation of seeing Lucas again.

  When the guys appeared and started setting up their equipment, my body burned as I watched Lucas help with the drum kit. It didn’t take them long to set up and once they were finished, they joined us at our table.

  When Lucas sat next to me, it took all my strength to keep from throwing my body at him. His lips formed a smirk as his eyes followed the conversation going on at the table. He rested a hand on my knee causing me to nearly jump out of my skin.

  “Um, feeling better?” I asked.

  He turned his eyes on me, making my heart race. His smirk softened as he nodded. “Much, thanks to you.” He leaned his head close to mine. “But I might need another sponge bath later.”

  As the heat crept up my neck, all I could do was nod. Chuckling, he quickly pecked my cheek. My blush increased and I wished his show was over already.

  “Let’s go, bro,” Collin said as Rusty signaled it was time for them to go on. Lucas gave my knee a squeeze then followed Collin and Spencer to the stage.

  As they played, Lucas’s gaze constantly fell on me, making my heart flip. His eyes were full of something I didn’t recognize – but I liked. My breath came in rasps and I couldn’t stop looking at h
im. As my feelings for him were reinforced, I knew, then, that I’d have to end things with Dustin.

  But, would Lucas want me for more than just a sex partner? Did he want us to be together? I had to find out but no matter his answer, I still needed to break up with Dustin. I couldn’t be with him if I loved someone else. And I would have to do it during break – no need to prolong things.

  A weight lifted off my shoulders allowing me to relax as Lucas crooned on stage. I wasn’t ready to tell anyone my decision yet – I would respect Dustin and tell him first. Then I would run to Lucas, offering myself up to him, and pray he wanted something more substantial than our current arrangement.

  Amber showed up during their second set but she didn’t bother me nearly as much as usual. She was accompanied by Holly and they pulled up a couple chairs and joined our table.

  Doing my best to ignore her, I focused on Lucas. I was sorely tempted to latch on to him when he joined us but I just couldn’t. I’d already caused enough damage to Dustin – even though he wasn’t aware of it yet – and I needed to at least respect him enough to end things before staking a claim on another man.

  The band finished their set and began tearing down the equipment. I fidgeted in my chair, anxious for Lucas to whisk me away to his apartment.

  But he didn’t seem nearly as anxious as me because he followed his brother to the bar, grabbed a beer, and chatted with Rusty. I fumed as Amber watched him, a longing in her eyes I recognized every time I looked in the mirror.

  When they finally made it to our table, I was on the edge of my seat. I was so jumpy that when Lucas sat his beer on the table I nearly fell to the floor. He raised a curious brow at me but I just smiled.

  “So, what are you guys doing tonight?” Amber asked.

  A lazy smile graced Collin’s face as he rested his elbows on the table. “We’re just going home to bed. We’re heading out in the morning for our parents’ place.”

  “Oh,” Amber said as her face fell. “That’s too bad. I’m going home tomorrow and I won’t see you guys until the new term starts.”

  “What a pity,” Spencer said with suppressed laughter. Bailey nudged him in the ribs with her elbow.

  “Are you going to hang out here for awhile?” she asked, her hopeful eyes on Lucas.

  “Nah,” he said with mock regret. “We really need to get home and pack.”

  “And we’re out of here, too,” Bailey announced as she scooted her chair away from the table. “Girls?”

  “Huh?” I asked as I glanced at her. She lifted her brows at me. “Oh, yeah, let’s go.”

  Rising to her feet, Morgan tugged on my arm, forcing me out of my chair. “Have a nice holiday, Amber.”

  My mind whirred as Morgan ushered me out of the bar, Bailey right behind us. I frowned as the cold, snowy air hit us and shook Morgan off my arm. I stopped, crossing my arms over my chest.

  “What the hell?” I demanded.

  “Oh, just scamper along to Lucas’s truck,” Bailey said with a laugh. “If we didn’t all leave, Amber would just leech on and never let go. Now hurry, before she has enough time to think about following him.”

  They both hugged me and kissed my cheeks, wishing me happy holidays. I smiled, hugged them again, and ran to Lucas’s truck. A thrill shot through me when I spotted him leaning against his truck, talking quietly to Collin. When I reached him, I looped my arm through his.

  He kissed me quickly and grinned, his eyes crinkling. “You’re staying with me tonight, right?”

  I lifted a shoulder. “I thought you had to pack?”

  His grin widened as he patted my hand. “Yeah, that’s why you’re staying with me.”

  I rolled my eyes as he pulled me into an embrace. I sank into him and my body heaved a sigh of satisfaction. With his arms around me, I was very much content to stay there for the rest of my life.

  “Lucas!”

  I jumped back, startled by the sound of Amber’s shout.

  “Oh, um, hi Irelyn,” she said as she eyed me suspiciously for a moment before shifting her eyes to Lucas. “Um, I just wanted to ask you …” she glanced at me again and smiled. “Do you mind if I talk to Lucas alone for a second?”

  I did mind – very much so – but I shrugged and stepped toward the back of the truck with Collin. I strained to eavesdrop but I couldn’t hear what she was saying. My fists clenched of their own accord causing Collin to chuckle. I ignored him as I observed the body language. Amber was standing far too close and Lucas was wearing an amused smirk.

  I rested an elbow on the truck, tapping my fingers relentlessly.

  “Chill, Irelyn,” Collin said. “He doesn’t like her – he’s just being polite.”

  “I know,” I said through clenched teeth.

  Amber smiled, touching Lucas’s arm softly, exciting my fury. I grabbed the tailgate, squeezing hard enough to cause a twinge of pain in my knuckles. Collin laughed.

  When Amber took a few steps away from Lucas, I relaxed my grip on the truck. Collin patted my shoulder, opening his mouth to speak, when we both were startled as Bailey whipped her car around the corner and jumped out.

  “Yo, Irelyn! You left your bag in the car and I figured you’d want it if you’re staying with Lucas,” she smirked. Her smirk fell when she noticed Amber. Horror washed over his face and my knees nearly gave.

  Amber’s face registered shock as her astonished eyes fell first on Lucas then on me.

  “I mean…” Bailey stuttered.

  I shook out of my trance as I removed my bag from Bailey’s hands. The damage was done and very soon, I wouldn’t have to hide anyway. Besides, Amber didn’t know I had a boyfriend. Why not?

  “Thanks, Bailey,” I said. Hugging her, I whispered in her ear: “Don’t worry about it – it’s fine. It’s about time she realizes that he’s not available.”

  Bailey eased back, a proud glint in her eyes. “Merry Christmas.” Waving, she hopped into her car.

  Taking a deep breath, I turned to smile at the group behind me. “You ready?”

  The slow grin that spread across Lucas’s mouth was perfect. He relieved me of my bag and tossed it in the back of his truck before opening the door. I slipped past him into the truck, him right behind me.

  As we drove, my heart started pounding. What had I done? Would she somehow spread it around campus that Lucas and I were an item? Would Dustin find out? Or maybe she’d forget about it by the time the new term started. But it wouldn’t matter, though – I was going to break up with Dustin anyway.

  “You okay, love?” Lucas asked.

  “Yeah,” I said as I patted his leg. “Screw it, right? I’m tired of her always hanging on you.”

  He chuckled as he eased his arm around my shoulders. “Good.”

  It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him how I felt and to let him in on my newest plan, but I didn’t say a word. I was ridiculously afraid that I’d jinx everything. “Um, so what did she want to talk to you about anyway?”

  He laughed. “She wanted me to go to some party with her next weekend. I told her I had plans.”

  When we got to his place, he carried everything inside and dropped it in his bedroom. Following, I tackled him to his bed.

  “Whoa, love,” he laughed. “A little anxious, are we?”

  “I missed you all week,” I said as I lay on top of him.

  He brushed my hair behind my ears. “You don’t have to wait until Friday, you know. You can come over anytime you want.”

  “I had finals this week, remember?”

  “How’d you do?”

  I shrugged. “I think I did well.”

  He wrapped an arm around me, holding me against him as he scooted up toward the pillows. He kissed the tip of my nose. “What classes are you taking next term?”

  I chatted freely about what I was taking and how excited I was about the new classes. We talked for nearly forty-five minutes before I realized that we hadn’t even undressed. But I liked how we could get lost in conversation and
not just in the sheets. And I think he did, too, because when I finally yawned, he shifted me off of him so he could stand.

  “Why don’t you get ready for bed?” he asked as he pulled his t-shirt over his head and kicked off his jeans.

  I rolled off the bed to dig through my bag, looking for pajamas. Of course I didn’t pack any – never really needed them. Sighing, I smiled over my shoulder at him. I opened his top drawer where I knew he kept his t-shirts and grabbed one.

  “You look so good in my clothes,” he said as I crawled over him. When he shut off the light, I snuggled into his side, trailing my fingers lightly over his bare chest. “So, will you come over Christmas night?”

  “Yes,” I said as my eyes started to droop. “Somehow I’ll be here.”

  “Don’t cause any trouble on my account,” he whispered.

  I propped my head on my hand and ran my fingers along his jaw. “Lucas?”

  “Hm?”

  I smiled as light from the street lamp filtered through the blinds, touching his face. “Do you…did you…think that I was…you know…easy?”

  His eyes remained closed but his face screwed up in confusion. “Easy?”

  “Yeah,” I whispered, fighting the embarrassment that threatened to make me hang my head. “Easy. Because I slept with you that first night and I didn’t even know you.” I cupped his cheek, the uncomfortable silence nearly stifling. “And practically every weekend after that.”

  He chuckled quietly as he placed his hand over mine. “Of course I don’t think you’re easy. I never did. I just thought the chemistry between us was too strong for either of us to fight.” He rolled to his side to kiss me. “I’ve never felt that sort of thing with anyone – not likely I ever will.”

  Emotion stuck in my throat and rendered me speechless. I struggled to speak, to tell him how I really felt. “I…me either.”

  Although my words were weak, he understood their meaning. As if in slow motion, we each moved – me to my back and him over me. I shivered in anticipation and when his lips finally touched mine, everything inside me burst like the grand finale at a fireworks display.